I started crossfit almost a year ago.
Since then I’ve added 75 pounds to my deadlift max, 30 pounds to my squat, 40 pounds to my bench, gained my ability to do more than one pull-up at a time, and learned many different complex movements such as the clean and jerk, squat snatch, and handstand push-up.
I have become stronger, physically and mentally.
I’ve pushed my limits and learned how to fail. I have also learn to keep pushing through failure.
I’ve learned the importance of hard work, but also the importance of rest.
I’ve also learned the importance of community, and the impact it has on improvement, achievement, and goal-setting.
Most importantly for me in this moment is that I have learned how to respect and enjoy my body and its ability.
For the first time, I am making goals for the upcoming year to train for new maxes and new fitness goals instead of the usual goal of losing 10 pounds or getting flat abs.
So, for this year I’m hoping to get a 160 clean and jerk, 120 squat snatch, 225 deadlift, and a 200 squat. I want to get 5 pull-ups in a row and row a 2k in 8 minutes.
I have goals about making more meals at home and drinking alcohol less.
In time, I believe my body will reflect these changes.
No longer am I as consumed with the negative thoughts about my body. My body image has shifted into being strong, capable, and balanced.
No longer am I consistently worried about the excess fat on my stomach. Nor am I obsessed with the scale or my exact body fat percentage.
I never really thought of it until I got mono this past summer, but my perspective of myself has shifted from self-hate of how my body looks to self determination of improving my health.
To think 5 years ago I was starving myself, losing about 20 pounds in a little over a month because I had such high anxiety about my body after I quit a sport that required intense conditioning 4-5 days a week.
And to think just 2 years ago I was consistently struggling with Binge Eating Disorder (BED) because the lack of control I felt in my life and my dissatisfaction with my body.
I could not find balance.
I was starving myself 5 days of the week, restricting, and binging 1-2 of the other days.
It was a constant cycle that exhausted me to the point where I would struggle to get up in the morning.
Since then I have found balance, and a positive perspective toward my body. No longer is my body an enemy, or something to hate. Instead it is something to appreciate. Food is now the fuel to be able to do the things I love to do.
Crossfit has given me new perspectives for myself and how to contribute to a community that believes in mental and physical strength, as well as continuous support.
For that, I am thankful.
Cheers to the new year, and all the challenges, successes, and changes that come with it.
P.S. A new picture of me crossfitting coming soon.